The hopeless case

Another rant-ish post, although this is more directed at myself than at anyone in particular. As i mentioned before, I'm in my final year at uni. This means that the deadlines i have this year are extremely important compared to ones i've had in the past. Of course, you always try your best because all deadlines are important and doing the bare minimum is not how you move forward in life….(if i was Pinocchio, my nose would be 10 feet long after saying that…but shhhh..) Anyway, Thursday is my deadline for my dissertation (or 'Research Project' as it's called in Psychology, don't ask me why, i have no idea. I think they told us at the start of the year, but hey, that was like 8 months ago) Now i am one of those people who find it very difficult to do any work ahead of schedule. I also follow the thought of 'Minimum input, maximum output'. I find it physically impossible to begin working on something unless i know i have 2 hours until it needs to be handed in. Ok, that's an exaggeration but you know what i mean. If an essay is due in for March 21st, you can guarantee that i won't begin working on it until March 19th (or sometimes even March 20th at 11pm). Now over my many years of education, you'd think that i would have learnt from this and realised that it's not a great idea to leave things to the last minute. Especially when they are important, like getting the right grades to get into uni. Or in this case, getting a decent degree (which is at least a 2:1 for me otherwise i'm pretty much screwed). But as hard as i try and no matter how many good intentions i have, i can never seem to do it. Don't get me wrong, i have nearly finished my dissertation (nearly being the key word). And even if i have nearly finished it, it's probably not to the 'best of my abilities' as they always say you should do. And as i write this, i'm thinking 'Why didn't i try harder? Why didn't i start earlier?' But no matter how many times i say this to myself, nothing ever changes. Another example of this is revision. Revision is that thing where teachers/lecturers/parents/whoever always say 'The earlier you start, the better you'll do'. And again, i've had this pushed down my throat throughout GCSEs, A Levels and now at degree level. But do i listen? Like hell i do! Instead, my mind thinks it's acceptable to wait until maybe a week before the exam, before it starts to panic and think 'Oh shit, i don't actually know anything about this exam. In fact, i don't even know what subject i'm being examined on.' I tell myself every year that i'll do better this year and revise earlier, do my deadlines ahead of schedule. But every year, for an unknown reason, i ignore my own advice. And now, with this being my final (for the moment) year of education i look back and think 'Wow i really should have listened to myself.' There's still time for me to begin revising now, several weeks in advance. And despite the two exams i have being my finals, and despite the fact that i need a 2:1 in order to follow the career i want, i can guarantee that revision won't begin for at least another week or so. I think i'm what's known as a HOPELESS CASE.